Things have been very up and down since my last post.......as is the case of most BPD. The thing that I hate the most is actually FORGETTING the good or the bad. I totally forget if I've been damn near suicidal by the next couple of days. Terri says that's all part of the Borderline way of thinking. Either something is all good or all bad....black or white....no gray areas......just total one way or the other. And when things are going well for me I totally blank out the near hysterical day I had just two days ago..........I don't even remember that it happened until someone reminds me. I feel so stupid and crazy. I mean what kind of moron can't remember having a total fit over ______ and yelling and screaming. No wonder my kids thought I was nuts.......I was....and I am.
The funny thing is all those sorts of things are the things that I would tell the numerous therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, etc etc etc over the years trying to find out why I was so.......crazy......moody.......pissy..........forgetful........etc.
Add the PTSD to the mix and you have a total NUTJOB!!!
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