Friday, June 12, 2009

YEAH!!!! Last patterned row!!!

Egads! My attention span must be getting shorter if I'm excited about
getting to the last patterned row on a freakin' DISHCLOTH!!!!!!
PATHETIC!!!!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

HORRIFYING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!! This has to rank up in the top 5 of all time worst days in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I already took my sleeping med......................and a tranquilizer, so this is short and NOT so sweet.

Jim and I spent the day out at the shop painting. I came in the door first and Tucker was on the couch NOT greeting us...........which usually means that they/he did something bad. Then I looked down on the living room floor and saw Phoebe laying there. For the most micro-est of seconds I could understand why she was laying on the floor in the living room as it is not something that she does!!!! Then a split second later I saw it. The blood on the carpet. The open mouth. The mauled body. The pieces of fur everywhere. The open wounds all over her body.
It was horrific and I totally lost it. I just screamed and grabbed her and would let her go. It was a half an hour later befre I would put her down. She had been dead for some time as rigor had set in and she was starting to come out of it.
I didn't handle it well................I was hysterical the whole time...........and, Jim, as usual, was everything. I finally put her in her bed and we took her out to the shed until Jim can bury her tomorrow.
She was the MOST BEAUTIFUL.........MOST LOVING cat EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a horrible day.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

GORGEOUS Sweater/Jacket!!!!!

I was looking at patterns on Ravelry and found one that was interesting. I wanted to see a larger pic of it, so I went to the person's Flickr page...........and then found THIS:


Isn't that incredible???????
You can see more of her stuff at Gwendolen2's Photostream

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Weird dreams.............

It's 6:45am and I just woke up. I'm on several different medication.....some to help my actual medical issues....and other to treat the side effects of those medications. One of the side effects is insomnia.....and for that I take serequel to help sleep.
When I first tried it over a year ago it caused horrible nightmares that would have me waking up screaming and shaking. I was terrible. But now it just makes me dream MORE.....more vividly, I guess......and I'm better able to remember my dreams. This is not necessarily a good thing as they are usually not nice, happy dreams......but since I started taking it about 6 weeks ago I haven't had 1 nightmare.........so I can live with that.
Which brings us to the reason for this post (is there EVER really a "reason" for a blog post other than the pompous want to have others read your random thoughts......back in the day, one would just find a soapbox, stand on a corner and ramble on about the state of thing. Some passers-by would listen.....agree or disagree.....and then move on to the next thing in there life.
But a blog makes all the world your own little street corner.........and like the tortured Detective Wyatt Cain who has to watch the torture of his family over and over again in the "Wizard Of Oz" remake "Tin Man."
blah blah blah. (which is now forever playing over and over and over again on my own personal street corner!)

OK, so the point of all that is that I woke up dreaming AGAIN.....like ever morning. Another strange dream. I was a (female) officer in WWII and our unit was holed up in a small building......a basement where the livestock were kept, I believe. I can't remember the mission, but it had something to do with making sure something was blown up on time. (a la most of the WWII movies where they have to make sure that such and such is done on time or the Good Guys won't be able to complete their mission.......they have a small peripheral mission....but, unknowningly, the fate of the future lies in their ability to perform this small, but critical, task.)
So we are holed up waiting for the tide to come in (our building is right on the river's edge). We have a skiff that SSG X was in charge of earlier on. After his shift was up a young female civilian who has been helping us goes out to sit with the skiff. In my dream, I saw SSG X plant a bomb/mine under one of the slate type rocks that are all over where the skiff is kept. It was meant to kill anyone who would go near the skiff........it was meant to kill either the civilian helping us or one of our own troops. He was a traitor. I saw this in my dream....but my 'character' was unaware of what he had done.
So Mme Y goes out to the river's edge to watch the skiff, but my character had a flash of intuition and 'knows' that something's wrong (in real life, I call that "Mom Radar"). My character tells her to just sit on the stone wall and watch the skiff but she is not to go down to it.
After I go back to our lair, the troops are in their own groups.....some sleeping....some playing acey-duecy. (which I know NOTHING about except I know that it's a game that the Marines, Navy and Merchant Mariners made their own......and that's the lamentation part of this rambling and off-the-wall post). SSG X, was playing....however, he kept loudly protesting the fact that Mme Y was not AT the boat. On and on it went. He kept at it for about an our and a half. Finally, I had enough and got in is face and ordered him to to not say another word as I had my reason for positioning her where I did and that was that. He looked at me and immediately said "Colonel, blah blah blah".......it was some sort of appeal to the Colonel (that was the first time I was aware that the COL was there or that the TOC was over on the other half of the 'room'...........such are dreams). This just blew me up....I gave a lawful order and he was blatantly disobeying and disregarding it..........and in front of all the men..........and my own commander. SSG X was the typical loud-mouthed lout portrayed in most movies.
Here's where the dream is fuzzy. I remember that I went back over to him....got in his face and let him know what was what........all with the COL quietly standing there with his hands on his hips. (He was a short, slightly built black man with a quiet authority about him.................I think this was a real-life battalion commander that I knew recast).
After that, I left and went to the water's edge with Mme X. She was just throwing the anchor into the water and this was SUPPOSED to hit the mine and blow us up. But it didn't. (Another weird dream thing......my character only FELT something was wrong.....but the omniscient narrator of this story would sometimes merge with my charactor so that I knew more than I actually knew......if that makes any sense.....which dreams seldom do).
So I'm trying to get the anchor to hit this mine while we are safely at a distance so that I can prove what SSG X did.
I am unable to do this and head back to the troops. I stomp up to SSG X and sucker punch him in the face. Troops jump up and grab both of us and pull us away from each other.
The COL steps away from the TOC and just watches with his hands on his hips.
And as most of the WWII movies play out, I tell SSG X that Mme Y is dead. (This is a bluff on my part...she is fine and on her way down the river in the skiff to do whatever it was that she had to do) The troops gasp. He has no reaction. I tell him that a bomb was there and killed her and that I managed to swim to shore. He smirks and laughs.........and then comments that it's too bad that I didn't die too..........and that I was the one that REALLY deserved it. Especially because women shouldn't be officers. I sucker punch him again and accuse him of planting the bomb. He laughs and takes credit for his (as he sees it) heroic feat. The other troops are agast that one of their own could have down this. The only thing worse than a traitor is a coward (or maybe it's the other way around.....I can't remember). They now have a different look in their eyes as they look at the both of us. It has changed from shock at a female officer sucker-punching an older, more experienced NCO in front of all the troops to realization that he was a traitor and tried to kill any one of them.
I stepped back and told the men to "take care of him" and turned and walked away. The COL was still watching.....and then gave a nod of approval to me....and then turned and walked back to the TOC as if nothing had happened.
The men surround SSG X and "take care of him."
I stalked back out to the water's edge to survey all that had happened.
OK.....so at this point I wake up...........although I was "in and out" throughout the whole dream.
Now Psych 101 could tell anyone what most of this dream is about and how it relates to my real life. Especially with my ex-husband regularly telling my daughter how he wants to kill me......and that's the first thing he would do if he got sick or had cancer.
BUT, that's not what struck me most when I woke up.
Instead, it was how technology has changed things for our soldiers.
Here's the thing.....
Back in the day..........for decades................soldiers, sailors, marines, etc were family. Now each was its OWN family who, at times, were at odds with the OTHER families. Squids vs Doggie Soldiers vs Jar Heads....etc etc.
But, it didn't matter what the situation was..........anywhere in the world.........if someone was traveling and found out that this other person was a fellow soldier, he was IMMEDIATELY and WITHOUT QUESTION family. Immediately trusted. And an instant bond had formed. No "getting to know each other" or anything. They immediately had each other's back...........and knew that they could count on each other for anything. Such is the way of being IN the military or married to the military.
That still holds true today..............BUT technology has eaten away at that.
Times gone by, a couple of marines waiting for a flight would have immediately struck up a friendship and started a game of acey-duecy. Now, they probably don't even notice each other. One is playing immersed in a video game and the other has his eyes closed with a set of head phones on.
For some reason, THIS is what was on my mind as I woke up. The loss of that automatic gravitating to each other............and it being largely replaced with each in his own virtual world. No longer seeking each other out.......no longer striking up instant friendships. Just isolation and oblivion.
That's very sad.
(And at some other time I will relate MY OWN experience of that "instant family" that still makes me feel proud that I was a military family member)
Not now though............I've been typing and thinking for over an hour now and I have a ton of things to do.
(The refrigerator died two days ago and the repair man will be here in a couple hours, Jeffrey gets in from Japan SOME TIME today.........who knows when............and we are supposed to sign the lease for the yarn shop today)
UG!
I need coffee.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Note...this is what I posted on the "Louet Lovers" message board on Ravelry. It was much easier to just copy/paste it over here.


Ok…..I’ve gotten my leg to slow down and my hands to speed up a little…..I’m starting to get the feel for this.

But even more than get the feel for this………there’s something totally different going on. (And maybe I’m a total dork for saying this……but, what the hell………I embrace my dorkdum!)

As I was spinning, my foot is rocking to a slow steady rhythm and my hands are follow their own rhythm as the pull small amounts of fibers out of this blob of fur. Each treadle and each pinch and pull takes a small number of fibers and straightens them right out and adds them to this ever-lengthening strand. I am pulling them out of chaos and slowly aligning them for a unified strength that will turn into something that I will actually clothe myself (or my husband) with. Fiber by fiber the chaos is left behind replaced by order and strength.
As I was pinching out each small amount of fibers I felt like I was pinching and pulling out all the worries and problems of the day and turning them into something orderly and structured. My brain was frazzled when I started and each fiber straightened in my hand was also a thought that was smoothed out and relaxed.
What a wonderful experience….what a wonderful way to clear my head and smooth over a very stressful day!!
(Hubby and I are just now deciding if we are going to open a yarn shop in Killeen (Central Texas) and we looked at properties today.) It’s giving me an ulcer, I swear. We don’t have any savings to put into this……..but for some reason, it’s all coming together at the right time. If it’s meant to be it will happen………if it’s not, it won’t. I know that……but worrying is still one of my main hobbies besides knitting………and now spinning!!! LOL

IMG_1257

IMG_1259

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Bad storm in Austin!

Just as we were leaving the convention a bad storm came through. We
were going to wait it out at Fry's, but about a half mile before we
made it the hail started. We drove off onto a side street and pulled
into a driveway that had a huge tree. We still got hit by a lot of the
hail, but luckily, the tree shielded most of it.

Heights? Hell!!!!

Austin Omni 16th floor glass balcony

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's a dog's life......

My poor dogs lead such a tough life. Someone should report me to the ASPCA!! You can't see him in the picture, but Tyson, Rat Terrier #2, is the lump under the blanket on the left side, right above his brother's ears. He didn't even want his head sticking out. When I put the blanket on top of them he burrowed all the way under.
It's raining and "cold" (at least for Central Texas) today. So this is how they....um....ok WE are spending our day!!!!!
How depressing...........NOT!!!!!!!

 
Posted by Picasa

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Frankie is never coming back....

I've cried and bawled for days. I miss him more than anything in the world. Part of my heart is now gone with him.


I was trying to explain to Jim what he meant to me. How I've always had cats all my life but NEVER have I had a cat like Frankie. When I was upset he was ALWAYS there. NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! He would wake me up in the middle of the night by touching his nose to my face and he would keep doing it until I woke up and put my around around him so he could curl up in the circle of my arm and rest his chin on my arm.


As I was explaining this to Jim I was trying to tell him Frankie was always there for me. I told him that he was.............so caring...........he was.................and "LIKE AN ANGEL" just popped into my head in a weird way. Like I was told it.....but no one said it.....I'm not hearing voices or anything like that. But it just came from...............well, not my brain.
I don't even remember if I told Jim he was like an angel. But I do remember thinking ......"All I know is that I just want him to come home" And exactly the same way, "He's needed elsewhere now" just popped into my head.


So what the heck is this??????? I don't presume to think that God speaks to me personally. Nor do I hear voices. But this came from somewhere. Half of me believes that it did come from and angel sent to comfort me.........and the other half believes that it's just my subconscious coming up with it to make myself feel better.





Oh....and then there's the dream. I dreamt.........no I ***EXPERIENNCED*** Frankie being there last night. That darned Topamax causes very vivid dreams,so this is nothing new.
But he was there and I was petting him.
And he was gone when I woke up so I asked Jim and he said that he's been gone over a week. And the same way that the other words came into my head it was "Now you've had one last night with him"
cry
cry
cry
cry
cry
cry

Friday, February 6, 2009

Can things get worse?

Yesterday was about the worst day ever.

E.V.E.R!!!!

And the funny thing is that all the huge breakdowns I've had in the past year, I'm still level.

The day before yesterday we had a MAJOR thing happen with our 16 year old son. It involves a 28 year old psycho woman who is married to someone close to our family and the police. This one is huge, but we are dealing with it the best we can.




And to top things off, my beloved Frankie didn't come home yesterday. He's started going outside, but just staying in the back yard. He was gone all day yesterday....which he NEVER is! He ALWAYS spends all day sleeping on HIS blankee on right by my pillow. At night he gets in bed when we do and makes his biscuits and then curls up and literally grabs my hand with his two paws so he can lay his head on it.
Whenever Jim and I have had huge falling outs....Frankie has always come up and cuddled with me and just purred and purred. There have been many, many times over the last few months that I have felt like Frankie is the ONLY being on the face of the earth that loves me no matter what. Things haven't been going well between Jim and me. But Frankie loves me no matter what.
Oh Frankie......please come home.......I need you......especially now!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sheila: The One Dog Wrecking Crew!


Dainty, she definitely AIN'T! She remonds me of that cow in a pink frilly tutu. LOL

Posted by ShoZu

Monday, January 19, 2009

Death Warmed Over......

That's what this family is living right now. Jiim's not that bad at all, but he doesn't feel that great. Tory told me yesterday that she was going to call me on Saturday to see at what temperature your brain starts to boil, because she was running a fever of 103F. Mine has been between 99F and 101F. I don't think that Richard's been running a fever but his coughing is terrible!!!! Dantrell (Tory's Friend) has both bronchitis and phneumonia!!!!
I thought we already did this and it had run it's course through our house! UG!!!!!!
GRRRRRRR!!!!!!
Another dose of Nyquil and off to bed...AGAIN.